Friday 7 September 2012

Sexual Harassment, Starts At Home?


Just making physical advances or forcing one’s sexual desires over the other does not constitutes the whole of sexual harassment. The way the culprit looks at the person, certain actions he does, also forms a part of this. It is generally believed that the children need to be protected from these ridiculers outside the boundaries of the four walls they live in. That is the reason why usually parents caution their kids about the harassers roaming free outside. But normally they fail to acknowledge the prospective danger inside their homes as well. The harasser takes this to his advantage because he knows that in the disguise of the relationship he shares with the child, he can do anything to her/him. Also, according to a report of Ministry of Women and Child Development, at least 21% children are sexually harassed by being kissed by their relatives or loved ones against their will in the country. The child is unable to speak about it to anybody, because she/he fears that nobody would believe her/him. Also the kid would be so small of her/his age that she/he might not actually understand what is being done to them.  

Image courtesy: Google images
   In the book ‘One child,’ by Torey Hayden, a six year old character Sheila, who was abandoned by her mother (her mother dropped her at a highway) when she was four, suffers from severe mental torture. She is been taken care of by a teacher in a special school for psychologically disturbed children. There comes one point in the story when Sheila is making frequent visits to washroom. Her teacher wonders as to what could be the possible reason, unless she notices the bleeding on her pants. She takes Sheila to washroom and fearfully unbuttons her pants and what she notices is devastating. The little kid is trying to hide the bleeding by placing multiple layers of tissues under her panty, which was caused by somebody who stabbed a knife into her vagina. She tells her teacher that her uncle Jerry (who used to often visit their house) did this. Uncle Jerry told Sheila that he wants to love her and forced his penis into the poor little kid’s vagina, when obviously she resisted and said that it is paining he stabbed a knife into it. According to wikipedia, in a sequel to the book, ‘The Tiger's Child,’ it is revealed that this incident makes Sheila infertile. The amount of mental and physical torture that the child went through, one can hardly imagine.  

   The role of any elderly or parents is very much crucial in this case. The child could be explained that what kind of touch is meant to harm them, which kind of approach is friendly or caring and which one is potentially harmful for them. 
Image courtesy: Google images
There have been cases in India as well relating to sexual abuse or harassment within the homes by a relative or a family member.
There was a little girl in the age of nine and something who could not make out what her uncle were up to when he constantly used to touch her ass in the name of loving the child. When she grew up she understood all of those gestures and movements but still could not talk to anybody about it.
Another girl who went through a kind of mental harassment was the time when she was in her teens. Her uncle (her father’s sister’s husband) used to pay visit to their house and numerous times she has caught the sight of him taking out his penis and playing with it. She explains it as a very ugly sight also whenever he used to come home drunk, and used to look at her in a lewd manner. It always used to make her uncomfortable also when she used to sleep and the man consciously used to try to touch her breasts. She once shouted because of this at night but could not explain the reason why. But one fine day she spoke to her mother about this. Her mother was shocked but said they could not do anything about it since they share relations with them. She still cannot understand why was she subjected to this hideous sight and why her?  
Ignoring the initial actions undertaken by the harasser can prove to be quite dangerous. He might get this feeling that whatever he might do, nobody would catch hold of him. And he would be constantly hunting for an opportunity to do more damage. In that case if he is brought into the notice of the family much before, many gruesome situations could be avoided. 
   Indian government laws relating to sexual harassment exist even though not applied, either by the victim herself/himself or by the authorities concerned. According to section 209 of Indian Penal code, if anyone sings or utters obscene words or songs at public place, then he can be imprisoned for a term of up to three months or can be fined or both. Uttering any word or making any gesture intended to insult the modesty of a woman can lead to imprisonment for one year or fine or both. Indian Penal Code does not distinguish between women and child victims. Henceforth, protection of children from sexual offences act, 2012, has been passed by Lok sabha on 22nd may 2012. More information relating to the law could be obtained from this link, http://equalityindia.wordpress.com/2012/05/23/the-protection-of-children-from-sexual-offences-act-2012-passed-children-in-india-get-a-new-law/
    
   Kids need to be explained and should be made that much comfortable that they talk their heart out without any inhibitions or fear. They need to have the feeling that they are nowhere at fault and would always be listened to and understood, no matter what comes into the way. This fact should be emphasized by the parents again and again that they would be loved, no matter what and should not feel embarrassed or guilty about anything.

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